Companionship
Everyone yearns companionship. I suppose we can numb ourselves to the wanting and the desires of being appreciated by someone who will eventually only be all ours (in one way or another somehow). We can keep telling ourselves that we are independent, strong and willing to walk our battles alone. But really? I don’t know about everyone else, but this is my opinion when it comes to a hearty (all pun intended) emotional relationship – we want to be around the person when we want to be around the person (how often, though, varies from person to person). We want to feel needed and we want to be as close as we can with someone. I believe that is really what everyone wants.
Why we assume we think otherwise would usually be because we are afraid of being alone again, or cheated on, or deserted. Whatever is the keyword for a person when it comes to hurting, we avoid. Entirely if possible. And yet I don’t think we can ignore what we are all genetically programmed to do – be around someone we love, have a soulmate, be with that one person in the world who can turn it around and take away all your control and yet whom you can do the same (just that you don’t know it even till you die how much of them you actually control too).
We deny that we need anything emotionally attaching just so that we won’t ever have to deal with losing it.
Because as someone very wise once told me (he was referring to being vegetarian actually, but I’m sure it applies here too), “You don’t miss what you’ve never had.”
I guess what I’m trying to say is… Is there any wrong in being too attached to your other half even if they treat you completely wrong? I guess, it is kinda demeaning to yourself, but is there any wrong in loving someone imperfect. Disconcerting, yes. Uncomfortably unfair, yes. But was love meant to be measured with rulers, measuring cups, temperature scales?
Some people you love and they love you so much back. Some people you love and you feel like the biggest fool on the planet. And some people you love and they love you too, but in between the now and the finish, its a rollercoaster of ups and downs where in different aspects of life and love, people love in different unmeasurable, uncomparable ways. I am pretty convinced that the last option is the most commonly occuring. At different points in a relationship, one party will show more concern than the other. It’s not a game or anything. It’s just the way things are in life on Earth thanks to Newton. He discovered one hell of a theory that is definitely proven right. Every force has an equal and opposite reaction – one of the laws of motion. Applies to relationship too – a relationship is supposed to move places too right?
Coming from Miss Relationship Control Freak, this is pretty dumb, ironic and totally a slap in my own face to wake up and smell the cowshits… Meh. But ho hum!
Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and i think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.
So as a control freak I must re-read inspirational quotes like this one to remind me about what I really want in life and how I should go about it. Being in control is about being in power too. Being in power is just about NOT being hurt, it really isn’t about being happy because the opposite of hurt isn’t happiness – it’s just being unhurt. Makes sense really. I love these quote people!
Anyway, I’ve been reading up about this theory called the “Prisoners Dilemma”. I like it. You should google it. I’ll blog about it in my next blog entry because I am fascinated by it. I’m so annoying I’m broadcasting it to all my friends when I go for lunch, dinner, supper. Every time I meet them I go on about Prisoners Dilemma. Haha.
Whatever. I don’t really know what I’m blogging about now. It was just a “ding dong” moment and then I lost the eureka part of it.
I’m back!
I think that kinda goes without saying since I’ve been blogging pretty actively for the past few days! But yeah, I’m back baby! :P
I hope I’ll be cool from now on and get myself off the hot crazy scale (more insane than hot)…
I had a great time this week! Met up with old great friends, the best ones ever, and talked alot to everyone who cares about me.
I met DOM TODAY TOO! :D I miss my partner ya! It’s been ages since we last met! >.> But I’m glad he’s on track! All (ok, some la) of my love Partner! Always so happy happy to see you dude! Save up for Aussie, no more ciggies, and make sure next time I whack your arm, it better make me say ouch leh! Not you say ouch! HAHA!
I did my hair nice today too! Because I had a day off and I wanted to try after being a dowdy ugly auntie at the pool for so long. I’m glad I did, I felt so happy after it. Good hair day ya! :]
Meh. Took a shitload of camwhore pics today. I actually felt pretty… Haven’t felt like that in very long.
Hurhur. This is turning out to be a fab week. (: I really like my hair btw. Considering a perm job! :3 Hmm maybe not. I don’t really know. Still got a week to being richer so… I’ll leave it till then!
On an unrelated note, am looking forward to Thursday and the weekend so that I can see my cute kiddos at the pool again! They really just grow on you!
Sometimes even when I’m damn frustrated with work and assignments and duties at work… Just looking at the kiddos photos make me feel a little bit happier. And when I actually do meet them again at the pool, they sure as hell always make my day.
I never expected I’d be working at my job, but I ended up there. It’s just weird. The party girl (sorta) ends up being smitten by young ‘uns and punks and gives up my weekends to spend time with another kind of precious.
I mean, I wanted to be a stewardess, couldn’t make it and now I’m here which isn’t all that bad. (Just stressful.)
The pay isn’t great, but I’ll live with it. The kids are worth it. Seriously. You should see the way they talk. Little ones are really interesting.
“You drink lotsa milk huh? Is that why your hair is SOOOOO long?”
“No! It’s long because I want it that way!”
“Huh, but why!”
“Because it’s beautiful!”
“Ohhh sooo you’re pretty vain huh!”
*Thinks for awhile* “NOOOO!!!! I just like it! Ok bye bye!” *Scampers after daddy and mummy in the distance.
Haha. Awww… Melts. Haha.
I settle the photos from today soon. I gonna go bum around before tomorrow arrives. Oh wait it already has!
Mehmeh.
KL Trip Day 1
Kenny is a raving KL fan for some reason. He says its refreshing. Carrie just needs a holiday. So the both of us just booked ourselves a last minute runaway holiday in the middle-right-smack in June.
Frankly speaking, it was a nice little getaway and a well deserved one for the resident NS-Boy and also the twenty year old full-time corporate world kiddo, yours truly. Heh, so yeah, Princess Peachy and Mario boy went for their KL trip (with just hand luggage and a spanking new passport each)!
We took Aeroline (which departs from Harbourfront) and got really nice back seats. Heh! I managed to get my seat to recline all the way back so I could have drool worthy sleep!
The bus was quite comfy lah, so Kenny was right about it being worth the money. They even have a steward in the bloody bus to serve you your packed food. This bus has issues… It’s a pseudo airplane man!
Our bus dropped us at One Utama (’cos we booked last minute so no more buses to KL) after a short 4 hour plus bus ride… Got cheated by a cab driver… Drove around Chow Kit for ages before we finally reached our hotel which was disappointingly a budget hotel… Haha. You should have seen Kenny’s face when he saw the place man… He was swearing!
We walked in – no safe, no proper towels, weird stain on the sheets, wet floored toilet, dirty looking yellow water in bathtub, cockroach shit on the magazines on our table, and a nice city view – of dirty old buildings at the backside of chow kit. HAHA. We weren’t even near Chinatown. I mean, shocking, but oh well, it’s only 2 days anyway! But really Kenny’s face – classic!
We took a monorail to some shopping centre… I forgot the name because Kenny would bring me there! Heh.
Because I didn’t have a good breakfast, I bugged hun for lunch! And he brought me to this chinese place which my dad also likes! ^_^
Kenny and his hor fun.
Me and my yummy braised meat noodles. YAY!
And we also ordered alot of nonsense! Heeeee. >.>
Was so full and sleepy after lunch but we did a little shopping, walking around, getting sweaty and hounded by con-artists… Kenny and I actually entertained them reluctantly until they kept pressing us to go down to the store saying we won a prize. ENOUGH. We rushed away once we had enough. :P
Kenny still loves KL because of…
Cheap ciggs… >.<
We shopped till quite late and headed back to the hotel… Bummed around watching movies on Kenny’s laptop… Rolled around in bed – even if the sheets were smelly (put at one corner).
Then before we knew it, it was really late, and we couldn’t go to Chinatown (shops closing by 11pm) so we went outside our budget hotel and got ourselves…
Delicious, salty, saucy RAMLEEE BURGERRRRRR! HOW CAN YOU GO MALAYSIA AND NOT EAT THIS RIGHT?!
So that was Day 1. We ended up sleeping in till quite late and wake up, roll around and all. Haha. I’ll post Day 2 photos tomorrow!
Picture spam
I’ll be shameless with the self-loving. Not many people have seen my mugshots on this blog for awhile. So here, behold, incredibly shameless collection of photobooth photos. >.>
Here we go. That’s enough.
